Editor’s note: Though subsumed by guilt for not being punctual at all with this month’s Charcha editions, I have decided not to kick myself as that would mean to make an errand out of what truly is a hobby I enjoy. I love writing Charcha, but putting new editions out weekly is a creative ideal. One I would love to stick to, if all else in life allowed. But should I fail, know that I will attempt the next best: publishing less often, but with 100% of the creative earnest and sincerity. That said, I really am sorry if you were looking forward to editions and never got one in time… here is an XL one to compensate!
Who let that sink in? The A-Z of Elon Musk’s Twitter
In April 2022, the internet erupted into flames when the most memed man in the world, Elon Musk, considered buying out the platform he’s memed on the most, Twitter. What ensued was a series of dilly dallying, many all-nighters for many lawyers, billions of dollars exchanging hands and finally, a deal. And that’s where the real nightmare began. As Twitter CEO, all within a few months, Musk singlehandedly changed the landscape of tech with his unwelcome algorithm changes and moody hiring-and-firing. His idea of Twitter and whacky MOs to implement them are now speculated to *sink* the platform completely. Here is all the tea you need, chronologised and simplified.
Deal or no deal?
January — April 2022
Elon Musk brought in 2022 with 80M million Twitter followers and a growing annoyance over the platform’s fact-checking policies. He believed that “free speech is essential to a functioning democracy” and asked his audience if Twitter accommodated it. Musk’s head teeming with ideas to make his own life easier on Twitter, like urgently introducing an ‘edit’ button (after his problematic tweets landed him in SEC trouble), he started pressuring erstwhile CEO Jack Dorsey about getting on the Twitter board of directors and effecting some changes on the platform. He even threatened to open his own rival social media platform, if denied a seat. Classy guy.
By end of January, Musk had starting buying stocks at Twitter, Inc. By April, he had a cumulative 9.2% of the company’s stock amounting to USD 2.64B, making him its largest shareholder. At this point, the BOD invited him to take a seat in the hopes that they will be able to limit his shareholding to under 15% and put other caps to his detrimental online activity. Shockingly for all, Musk denied. He instead spent most of his time talking smack about Twitter on Twitter, and on 11 April, made an offer to take the company private. A bunch of inconsequential lawsuits arose from other fuming shareholders. But Musk did not falter.
The acquisition
14 — 25 April 2022
On 14 April, Musk initiated his historic hostile takeover of Twitter. He made a cold offer to purchase the company for USD 43B. The next day, Twitter BOD announced taking the poison pill defence to the takeover, which is a self-sabotaging move encouraging shareholders to buy more shares than previously allowed for throwaway prices, in an attempt to chase away the acquirer.
Musk didn’t give a fuck. In a day, he put together money from his own Tesla stock, heavy interest bank loans, investor cash, more equity, personal assets and other risky sources to consolidate a USD 44B bid for Twitter (an extra 1B in security break-up fee). This caused Tesla stocks to crash for the first time in years. Musk incurred a total loss of USD 21B that day, of which USD 8.5B were Tesla equity. Not having much of a choice due to its own piling debt, Twitter accepted the buyout at USD 44B unanimously. Musk lost another USD 30B from his networth the same day. But as of 25 April 2022, Elon Musk owned Twitter, Inc.
Going through changes
May — November 2022
Thus began the era of changes no one but Musk asked for or wanted to see in how we, the users, use Twitter. From algorithmic tweaks to cost-cutting through mass lay-offs, from cynicism in every BOD decision to total control over advertising — Musk wanted it all. Here are the highlights.
Refresh feed
Musk called for an overhaul of Twitter’s feed algorithm: which is basically the platform’s landing page users see and interact with the most. One of Twitter’s charms is the balance one’s feed is able to strike between virality and relevance — showing us what we opt to see by following people or topics, and also what we didn’t opt for but should see because everyone else is. Musk said, anyone want some propaganda instead?
Twitter regulars are reporting a surge of ethno-nationalist tweets and conservative discourses being pushed out on their feeds with the same ferocity as funny, harmless, viral tweets once were. And Musk seems to think this is one way of leveling the field because the algorithm previously simply hated pro-lifers. So now, as we will all agree, it’s their time to shine. Hey bro, what happened to “free speech is essential to a functioning democracy”?
I change my mind
On 13 May, amidst the chaos and unending tyrannical demands, Musk suddenly announced pausing the takeover. He’d found out that 5% of all Twitter users were actually bots and that really miffed him. Twitter, Inc shares immediately dipped 10%. As Reuters reminds us, “Musk, the world's richest person, decided to waive due diligence when he agreed to buy Twitter on April 25, in an effort to get the San Francisco-based company to accept his “best and final offer.” And now he stomps his foot and exits, claiming Twitter misled him on user data. Men can be so emotional and dramatic.
On 8 July, Musk announced he was terminating the takeover. All because the BOD would not agree to give him true stats of bot accounts and also didn’t agree to firing all the (hundred) high-ranking Twitter employees he wanted gone. Twitter, Inc shares dipped 7%, then another 11% the next day. Twitter sued Elon Musk at the Delaware Court of Chancery hoping to move along the acquisition.
What followed the next few months was messy to say the least, involving 110+ subpoenas, court hearings, minor structural changes from Twitter’s end and desperate ‘power moves’ by Musk that just looked plain stupid. Slowly giving up, Musk sold a further USD 6.9B worth of Tesla stock and offered to continue the acquisition at a reduced cost of USD 31B. Twitter said fuck you. USD 39.6B then? Nope, still fuck you.
Fine. On October 2022, Elon Musk proceeded to acquire Twitter at the initial bid price of USD 44B, begging them to drop the lawsuit. And I really wish I were making this up. This is the man we think will colonise Mars?
On 26 October, Musk made his first trip to Twitter's headquarters, tweeting a life-altering, culturally historic video of him carrying a kitchen sink to the lobby with the caption: let that sink in. He then proceeded to fire then CEO Parag Agarwal, CFO Ned Segal, general counsel Vijaya Gadde and Sean Edgett and had security escort them out. The next few days, he fired atleast 30 more executives. Yep, let *that* sink in.
Twitter Blue
In his quest to minimise bot accounts on Twitter, Musk rolled out an incredibly ambitious subscription model called Twitter Blue. For a monthly cost of USD 8, Twitter users can obtain a blue tick by their name indicating a ‘verified account’. The original method of verifying users for a blue tick included a short online application form, and was reserved for people at risk of impersonation such as celebs, politicians or journalists. A process that, you know, verified accounts.
Twitter Blue made history within days of implementation. “We are excited to announce insulin is free now”, tweeted US pharma giant Eli Lilly & Co. from its Blue verified handle on 10 November 2022. Except, it came from a fake account and was allowed to hang around for 6 hours, reaching millions of users in impressions. With zero intend to ever make free their most profitable medicine, Eli spiraled. They pulled out all advertising and marketing from Twitter channels, and their stock plummeted by 4.37%, costing them millions.
Perhaps the most valuable asset Eli lost was their smokescreen. As Bernie Sanders put it, Eli has been responsible for increasing the price of insulin, an essential medicine, by over 1,200% since 1996 to USD 275 while it costs less than USD 10 to manufacture. “The inventors of insulin sold their patents in 1923 for USD 1 to save lives”, Sanders adds, “not to make Eli Lilly's CEO obscenely rich”.
“He’s fired”
October 2022 — Present
Look at this 14 November 2022 tweet from an erstwhile Twitter employee:
Somewhere down the comment section, Elon Musk replied, “He’s fired”. And that was it.
Eric Frohnhoefer is one of 5,000+ Twitter employees and contractors (yes, five thousand) to be fired by Musk, either due to their valid critique of his changes and managerial style, or because he just felt like it. So much so that, as Business Insider writes, ‘Elon Musk has fired so many Twitter workers by mistake that HR created an 'accidental termination' category to re-onboard employees’. Many did in fact receive apology emails asking them to come back (but within a few days notice and without severance pay, meaning a lot of them declined).
According to Musk, this was done to get the company’s finances in order and pump more money into the algorithmic overhauls literally no one asked for. This sudden outflux of highly skilled tech labour opened a window for startups and MNCs to jump in with lowballed job offers. The freshly laid-off staff took them up for lack of choice and stability. Musk caused a tumult in tech hiring like no man has before — because some of his employees chose to talk back to him. I’m once again asking: what happened to “free speech is essential to a functioning democracy”?
What’s next?
Elon Musk is rich enough to run the most influential social media platform of our times to the ground if it lets him crack a few jokes. We always knew this is a man who lives for attention and the memes, but I never realised his silly optics were so deeply ingrained in his work ethic. Pricing Twitter stock at USD 54.20 a share because 420? Debiting equity from Tesla in installments of USD 6.9B because 69? Carrying a literal sink to the HQ of your newest company where everyone hates you? Surely, the sink was to signify actual sinking, which Twitter, Inc currently is.
Musk has recently ‘declared war’ on Apple and their 30% payments cess on Apple store, and has obviously done it through a meme. Now he’s hosting polls on his Twitter account claiming Apple doesn’t allow “free speech”, something he holds so close to his heart. Perhaps that’s why he continues to suspend and delete every single joke made at his expense on Twitter. A man of principle!
Quickie 1: A special marriage proposal
Last Friday, a (surely photogenic!) queer couple from Hyderabad, Supriyo Chakraborty and Abhay Dang, filed a PIL at the Supreme Court seeking the right to marry under the Special Marriage Act, 1954. Apart from the deserved excitement surrounding this move, the petition is also among the first being heard by the shiny new Chief Justice of India, DY Chandrachud. So, what’s the catch?
First, let’s dissect the PIL and its impetus. The petition outlines that the Special Marriage Act violates the Constitutional right to equality by allowing some cadre of couples to marry (hetero) and not the others (non hetero). To dilute this discrimination, provisions of the Act should be interpreted by the court to allow queer marriages to be registered just like straight ones are.
This petition comes at a ripe time for many reasons, especially considering the favourable judicial atmosphere for queer persons since Section 377 (2017) and Puttaswamy (2018), both cases marking significant milestones in Indian legal history. DYC, too, is most amenable of the mostly-old-and-greying Supreme Court roster. So far, this looks like a recipe for success. But here is the partypooping caveat: should queer marriages be registered just like straight ones are? This tweet from a Madras HC lawyer answers it best:
The Special Marriage Act is as old, frustrating and draconian as Late Ms. Elizabeth the Queen (RIP). The actual process of registering a marriage is already dangerous for conventional newlyweds, as it includes a public notice (with pictures and sometimes contact info of the couple!), a loooooong and precarious objection period, weird time limitations and other potholes every step of the way. Overall, hetero couples routinely risk their lives and marriages over procedure under this Act. Is it wise to subject an already stigmatised community to the same song and dance?
While the move is stan-worthy and very exciting to follow, one must question if the Special Marriage Act is the right vehicle for it. Also: this has sparked some ire in the Trans community online, which is rightfully reminding us how they’re killed and harassed daily over their identity. The right to marry, to them, thus seems like a detached and elite demand. Further updates on the petition in the next Charcha!
This just in: Singapore’s largely conservative parliament has just repealed a decade-old law criminalising gay sex, literally as I was typing this section up. BIG WIN!
Quickie 2: Balenciaga, Fall 2022
Are we witnessing the fall of Balenciaga? One look at their latest ad campaigns starring prepubescent models and a fuck ton of subliminal messaging, and you would wish it were. Rightfully so. And this one is much worse than their 1.4 Lakh Demna Lays handbag or poverty sneakers… because it’s child pornography.
What were supposed to be Spring 2023 advert shoots in the edgy-glam-editorial style Balenciaga is most loved for, on further inspection, turned into an unsettling album of kids in sexually suggestive backdrops. For instance, pictured above is a girl laying on her tummy next to a teddy bear in full bondage gear, the likes of which also appear alongside other kids. One picture includes a Michael Borremeans art book — whose work has featured nude children and adults engaging in acts of violence, including cannibalism.
Another picture displays a strategically placed court document initially speculated to be Ashcroft v. Free Speech Coalition, a controversial SCOTUS case which struck down two provisions of the US Child Pornography Prevention Act of 1996 because they abridged “the freedom to engage in a substantial amount of lawful speech” (lawyers click here). Balenciaga, through their deplorable Instagram apology, claims the document was actually from United States v. Williams, which takes a contrasting stance re speech and child porn. Where they look fucking stupid, once again, is that Williams does not overrule Ashcroft, but instead substantiates it to the extent of virtual child pornography being not *totally* criminal (lawyers… here).
And just for the record, Ashcroft or Williams, its fucking weird either way and has no business being associated with unconsenting and unsuspecting children.
Back to the Balenciaga apology: don’t bother with it. It volleys the blame to third parties, such as set designer Nicholas Des Jardins, who allegedly placed these objects in pictures without Balenciaga’s consent or knowledge. The brand has also recently sued Jardins’ company for USD 25M in damages. Not one sincere sorry was uttered to their consumers and audience, though a weak one was offered to “talents” (children — you mean children). In a shocking display of true “remorse” as claimed in the apology, Balenciaga will also make back almost all of the money it lost around this campaign. Great.
One reason Balenciaga will not run losses is because its troop of rich ambassadors don’t deem this blunder big enough to cut ties over. Ms. Kimberly Kardashian, a long-term darling of the brand, was “shaken by the disturbing images” but not quite enough to just flip the bird and find the exit. Also IDK about Balenciaga taking “actions to protect children” — the way I see it, someone on that team deserves to be kept miles and miles away from children.
Quickie 3: Deepika’s failing foray into skincare
Earlier this month, Deepika Padukone launched her (lowly-anticipated) skin and self-care brand, 82East. Only two products have made it to selves yet: an Ashwagandha moisturiser (Rs. 2700 for 50ml) and Patchouli sunscreen oil (Rs. 1800 for 30ml).
As a skincare junkie and celeb goss addict, I was shaken to my core upon learning that DP was launching a brand… THE DAY OF the launch. This sort of thing would never fly under my radar unless the marketing was especially weak. And in hindsight, not only was it weak, but also deeply misdirected. A star like DP, one of few women of Bollywood we actually like listening to and following, has put 0% of her personality and starpower into her brand. 82E was instead positioned as literally anything you want it to be from the get-go. Ok but what if I want it to be Deepika’s skincare routine??? DP just tell me what to put on my face???
Indian skincare girls are mad about a number of things. For one, this shit is expensive for very little quantities. Then it doesn’t really do much. Also it’s powered by none of DP’s appeal. And who called it Ashwagandha Bounce?! Read the comment section on the twitter thread below for more flabbergasted reviews:
Two things irk me the most about 82E and its brand message. For one, it positions itself in the ‘clean beauty and wellness’ vertical of the Indian skincare market, bulk of which is occupied by Kama, Forest Essentials and Body Shop at the top, and Mama Earth, VLCC, Blue Heaven and Himalaya at the bottom. Not only is this a saturated space, the idea of selling Ayurveda with a *whisper* of science is a gamble in a country like India. The message deems chemicals as a terrible thing to put on one’s body, which is not always true. For instance, the silicone we’re told to run away from is what gives our hair conditioners some slip, and the evil sulphates in shampoos is what actually cleans dirt off our scalps. We don’t need more fear-based advertising when we already have Mama Earth.
Two, and this is just downright shady: of the two products 82E has launched, one has totally misleading ingredients. The Patchouli sunscreen oil (which is a wild note to start off on, btw) is claimed to have ceramides both on the website and Instagram page, but one look into the ingredient list will tell you there are none. To me, that is enough for a brand to lose credibility over. For a more nuanced take on the sunscreen as a product, watch this brilliant review by beauty influencer Komal Basith.
Overall, this was a dud from start to finish. 82E will be rolling out new products soon, which will remain out of my budget and general intrigue. It’s a pass from me, Dips!
D-recs corner
Hello! Here are this months'* recs. A fuckton of content for you from my four-week spree of consuming various media from every direction — sit back and enjoy!
This week I watched…
So many things you’d think I’m unemployed. Here’s a listicle:
The Bold Type on Netflix: While all my friends and family binged on this show amid the pandemic, I was busy shitting heavily on the idea of what looked like a cheesy teen-magazine coming of age woke-liberal-PC millennial typecast Gilmore Girls rip-off. Well I caved now… and I wasn’t wrong. The Bold Type is all of that, some would even say I understated its qualities, but it’s definitely entertaining. Five seasons in, I actually, seriously sent a bunch of cold pitches to web magazines (largely because I realised I’m a better column writer than the protagonist, and partly because I’m delusional). Fun timepass watch.
Kim’s Convenience on Netflix: This was my absolute favourite find of the year! And not only because of its many scenes starring a shirtless Simu Liu. It also has… er… other attractive people. Kim’s Convenience is a very good immigrant sitcom that doesn’t feel forced or stale or bigoted like many of its peers. Also Simu Liu, not sure I mentioned Simu Liu.
Dead to Me on Netflix: I have beef with this show. What started out as a fast-paced, downright delirious dark comedy in season 1 became a feverdream by 3. It’s a unique story with immersive though frustrating characters, which makes it feel eerily real. But nah, the disappointing latter seasons make it a pass for me.
Love is Blind (Season 3) on Netflix: Now THIS is realityTV babyyy! I cannot *believe* how chaotic and cruel and absurd and entertaining this season was; Love is Blind as a franchise is truly ageing backwards. S3 has it all: love, sex, drama, gaslighting, cheating?, lying, crying, screaming, an eventful reunion — I could write pages about the stinking genius of this show. It’s absolutely terrible and you must not miss it for the world.
I Like to Watch (by Trixie Mattel and Katya) on YouTube: I’ve newly discovered the joys of Netflix React videos and my dragrace favourites, Trixie and Katya, hit it out of the park with this one. The queens lend commentary to various Netflix shows (including Love is Blind, please watch that one) in such an obscene and dramatic way I could not dare watch this anywhere near my parents or strangers. If you love dragrace humour and actually understand the lingo, tune into the series NOW!
Defunctland by Kevin Perjurer on YouTube: Here to plug one documentary by this channel, just one: Disney Channel's Theme: A History Mystery. It’s their most recent video and worth every minute of your time. I have many more words to sing in praise of Defunctland, but they were summarised in this post I made eons ago on my zombie page, @disharecs.
That was my list everything I finished in November! What I plan to watch next: White Lotus and Manifest on Netflix. I’ve heard mighty good things about both, so I’ll report on this next edition.
Tune therapy
Today on the menu we have two courses of overdone 90s kids nostalgia. My first playlist teleports me back to Ladybird bicycle days and roadtrips in a beaten down hatchback: it’s appropriately called santro cassette. My aim with the playlist was to gather all the songs that were contained in the first and only cassette we had in our car, but that quickly forayed into other familiar sounds from the radio, papa’s music CDs and army mess parties. So this one is chalk full of 80s American pop with a welcome Simarik jumpscare.
Speaking of jumpscare: my millennial karaoke playlist is a checklist I refer to while requesting atleast 20 consecutive songs at the bar karaoke on a girls’ night out. On other nights, it’s what I queue up for a long hot shower to sing along to. Enjoy!
Weekly rave
I obsessed over (and purchased an unnecessarily large consignment of) three distinct things this month.
Tilla stationery: While Tilla from Ahmedabad is primarily a designer ethnicwear label that makes beautiful clothes for people two cadres above my tax bracket, I have been completely taken by their stationery collection. It is a limited stock of 6 ornate Wild Garden prints that feature on either diaries or greeting cards and I now possess ALL of them. Don’t do that, but do try out a few. Pro tip: buy online and opt for the free gifting option. It comes with the most stunning packaging and a free greeting card! #selfcare
Ikea bed linen: I always knew I should maintain a respectable distance from Ikea if I want to have any semblance of savings in life. Then I discovered their bedding range. It’s so cheap? And so beautiful? I recently bought myself the TRÄDKRASSULA, which sounds like wine made from the blood of my ancestors, but is in fact the cutest duvet cover and pillowcase set to exist (look!). I used to buy my linens off Amazon but they were almost always too expensive for shitty quality. Will post an update on the Ikea haul when I receive it.
The Whole Truth peanut butters: Are a whole revelation. They do sugarless PBs with added whey protein, and because I’m a certified PB afficionado + novice gym bro now, it has changed my life. I eat it for breakfast everyday, slathered on toast with a freshly brewed coffee. I’m not a fan of it being sugarless but that is easily resolved by mixing in a bit of honey / agave. I have also tried their date-sweetened and dark chocolate PBs and they’re *big* bangers in my household. All set to try their chocolates and protein bites next.
Can I trust you with a crossword?
We have established that I can. Here is the link.
Watch out for a larger lingual theme and some interconnected clues! I aim to confuse with some of those clues, as always. Happy solving.
And that’s the week’s charcha!
You’ve reached the end of a monthly edition of Charcha Weekly! Phew, that was long. Go get some shuteye and make yourself a hot chocolate after, you deserve it. And ooooh, really cool hot choc recipe in the next edition! That’s all, folks.